The Words Among Us

Homily for the Third Sunday of Advent, Year A
Isaiah 35.1-6a, 10 Psalm 146 James 5.7-10 Matthew 11.2-11

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We live in a time when it is commonly accepted that people can say whatever they want, whenever they want. Of course there are good things about this freedom of speech, and I would never want us to get rid of this fundamental freedom. But as Christians, we want to be holy – we want to be saints. And so we have a responsibility to look at the words we say and prudently, prayerfully decide whether those words are appropriate, truthful, and necessary. We might think about the jokes we tell and whether they are appropriate conversation for Christians who want to be holy. Or we might need to remember the second commandment, to not take the name of the Lord in vain. And there are times when we need to speak up for the truth, speaking especially for the rights of human beings who can’t speak for themselves.

But in today’s reading from St. James, we hear about one of the most common and destructive ways of using words. The apostle tells us, “Do not complain, brothers and sisters, about one another, that you may not be judged.” And how often we complain. That person’s driving too slow. Doesn’t anybody know how to drive any more? Or: This person’s always late – doesn’t she know we’re in a hurry? Or: Whoever made this coffee just doesn’t know what they’re doing – it tastes like colored water. Now, sometimes these things are true. But the question we have to ask ourselves is: why are we saying something? Is it privately, to the person involved, genuinely wanting to help them to be a better person? Or is it behind their back, to a group of friends who don’t even know the person we’re talking about? Or is it said to people who do know the person and the situation, and we’re trying to affect other people’s opinions. And that brings us to a particular type of complaining: gossip.

Complaining that a person is always late is one thing. But it’s pure gossip when you tell the rest of your dinner guests that the person is probably late because you heard they were having an affair with someone at work. So is telling your friends at the coffee shop that the reason the coffee is so weak is because you can tell just by looking at her that the waitress is on drugs and the poor thing probably can’t even figure out how to measure the right amount of coffee. Gossip uses words to injure or destroy a person’s reputation. A lot of the time, gossip is based on hearsay – and rumors of what someone said that they heard someone else say can spread like the wind and can change as quickly as the weather in Indiana. Sometimes, the gossip might be true – and we might think it’s ok to tell other people something as long as it is true. But truth spoken to the wrong person in the wrong way can do just as much harm as lies. And neither truth nor lies need to be shared when they injure another person. So why do people gossip? A lot of the time, people gossip because it makes them the center of attention – everyone wants to talk to them, because they know all the juicy news about people. Or they might be intimidated by other people and want to tear down their reputation. Or it might just feel good to gossip – you don’t have to watch soap operas when you can talk about all the messes the people you know are in – and we can avoid working on our own faults by spending our time talking about the faults of others. And of course, people often gossip simply because they get lured into it – once one person starts talking about other people, it’s hard to stop.

So what are we as Christians to do? The first thing is to recognize how important and significant words are. Every word that comes from our lips has an impact on other people. As Christians, we are called to speak prudently, truthfully, lovingly – not selfishly or falsely. When other people around us gossip or complain or tell inappropriate jokes or whatever it may be, we can walk away or stop the conversation where it is. But we also have to look at ourselves. Much of the time, the words we speak that hurt others are really a mask for our own weaknesses. And we don’t think about how our words impact other people. Our goal as Christians should be to build up one another with our words and actions. If you have a problem with another person – go directly to that person, as Jesus tells us in the gospels. If you’re tempted to judge someone, remember that there is only one judge – God the Father. We’re here to help one another get to know God – to help one another become holy. Remember, anyone can be a saint. But to do that we have to change. Our words have to become more and more like the words of Christ. It's not easy. But with God's help, we can do it.