Creating a Holy Family

Homily for the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph
Sirach 3.2-6, 12-14 Psalm 128 Colossians 3.12-21 Matthew 2.13-15, 19-23

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One of my Christmas traditions each year is to watch the movie The Nativity Story. If you’ve seen this movie, you know it is a beautiful depiction of the familiar gospel story of the birth of Jesus. One of the things I’ve always loved about this movie is that it gives equal attention to both Mary and Joseph. So much of the time, Joseph gets forgotten or left out of Christmas carols, stories and celebrations. But he’s always there, silently watching over Mary and Jesus, humbly accepting the role he never asked for as foster-father of his Savior. In the movie The Nativity Story, we are given a glimpse of what it might have been like for Joseph as he struggles to understand and accept God’s will for his life. But even more, we see the gentle, sincere love he has for Mary as they make the difficult journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem. At one point on the journey, they are running low on bread. Joseph divides what little they have not between him and Mary, but between Mary and the donkey carrying her, both of whom need strength more than he does. It’s a simple sacrifice, but it shows great love and kindness.

It’s this sacrifice and love that make the family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph a holy family. St. Paul could have been speaking of them when he wrote to the Colossians, about a family that was filled with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness; a family grounded in love, filled with peace, and thankful for God’s blessings. It is in this context that we hear the final lines of this reading, about wives being subordinate to their husbands, husbands loving their wives, children obeying their parents, and fathers not provoking their children. We can get hung up on the subordination, but what St. Paul is really saying is that a holy family is one in which each person puts the needs of the other people in the family ahead of themselves. A holy family is one in which the husband puts his wife first, before his own wants and needs; a holy family is one in which the wife puts her husband first before her own wants and needs; a holy family is one in which children appreciate the love of their parents and the parents respect their children. A holy family has put aside all selfishness, pride, jealousy, and greed and has made the love of Christ the center of everything they are and everything they do.

The challenge for us is that we’re each called to be part of a holy family; it’s not just a title for Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. And with so many things these days threatening marriage and family, it’s harder to conceive of a family at all, let alone a holy family. The sad reality of divorce, attempts to redefine what marriage is, TV and movies that lack examples of successful families, a consumer mentality that focuses on having more things rather than on learning to love – all these things and more make it harder and harder for anyone who tries to live as a holy family. What we can do is look to the family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and learn from them. We can learn what it means to sacrifice. We can learn what it means to love. We can learn what is means to grow and mature together. We can learn what it means to make Christ the center of our family life. It doesn’t always work out the way we think it should, and it definitely won’t work if any one member of a family refuses to try. Everyone has to be on the same page, working to achieve the same goal. Our families won’t be perfect – they can’t be as long as we’re human. But they can be holy if we want them to be.